Why We Fail Reason #486

Had an interesting interaction with a customer the other day. This guy approaches me and asks if we carry a book called "Burning Down The Shack", a critique of the fiction title "The Shack" by William Young. I had heard of the book but neither he nor I could remember the author's name. So off to the computer I went and as I was searching for this author, he began to explain to me why he was inquiring about this book.

He had seen the author being interviewed and immediately agreed with the author's statements regarding the errant theological views presented in a novel. He spoke with his wife about the interview and she informed him that she and other ladies at her church did a book club study on "The Shack" a couple of years ago. He became enraged that something like this could happen at his church so he came to me to find this book in order to understand why this fiction was so evil. Then came the statement that I can't get out of my head, he said, "Now, I'm never gonna read 'The Shack'. I just want this other book to tell me why it's wrong."  Judgement had already been passed on a subject with which he had never interacted.

Ugh.

I was so angry, I stepped to the stockroom to have a moment to vent and calm down.

Unfortunately I encounter this paradigm all the time regarding spiritual matters, Bible translations, music styles, author perspectives, denominations, etc., well-meaning individuals simply repeating what their favorite pastor/teacher/theologian/author has said or written. I guess this makes me so angry because for much of my life I did the exact same thing, and probably still do to some extent. Growing up in Bapti-costal churches, preachers spoke with intense authority, sweating profusely, slinging spit and Bible quotes all over the congregation. These (exclusively) men were never questioned and the congregants were required to simply listen and obey. Questioning their authority was akin to questioning God Himself. During some of my most formative years I lived believing blatant lies about God, Christ and daily life simply because I did not seek the truth myself. I relied completely upon the sayings of one who possessed more authority than me. I'm still recovering from some of the hurts those lies inflicted on me and those I love.

I'm not big on confrontation, so I helped the customer find his book and sent him on his way. I wish that I could redo my interaction with the Shack-hating customer. I wish that I could go back and say to him, "I would encourage you to read 'The Shack', because it's good to have first-person knowledge of the issues that concern you and your family. Then after you have read it, thought through the concepts presented in that work of fiction, read the rebuttal that you are buying today. First look at the content, then come up with your own conclusions, and finally share those insights with a trusted friend."  


I can't go back in time and communicate some advice to that guy, but I can remind you to think and discover for yourself.  Don't get caught being a repeat button for somebody else's heart or brain.  God gave you those organs for a reason, use them.

Looking Back

Well, just a few days left in 2011 and since I have some time off I thought I'd reflect back on the highs and lows of the year in the Farris family. First, the highlights...

BALLET

This Fall Isabelle began classes at the Scenic City Dance Center. She really enjoys time with her friends in class and she gladly displays her dance moves to anyone willing to watch. At the Winter Recital she danced to 'Little Sally One Shoe' using streamers. She definitely has the Gonzalez flair for performing. We're looking forward to what she'll learn during the Spring semester.

HOMESCHOOL

After a disconcerting IEP at Gabe's school last year, we decided to take the plunge and attempt homeschooling. At first Gabe was hesitant, but now that the first semester is over he seems to be enjoying the process. We've been blessed to have some wonderful friends who have offered help all along the way (Thank You!!!), and he enjoys the 2 co-op groups he attends each week. Gabe even acted in a student written play! Not too bad for a kid who the doctor's said would not be able to speak or interact well with his peers.

ROLLIN' WITH A 4.0

Rachael achieved a feat that eluded me during college, finishing a semester with a 4.0!! She worked her tail off to get those grades and I'm so proud of her. She's trying her best to get accepted into nursing school next Fall. I know that she will make a great nurse, she's just got to make past this huge exam that's coming up in the next few weeks! Prayers appreciated.

MISSISSIPPI

In March we were privileged to attend Rachael's Grandmother's 80th birthday party in Greenville, MS. It was my first trip to the Delta and the first time her Grandma had seen Izzy. We had a great time celebrating her Grandma and I even got to see the church where the great bluesman Robert Johnson was buried!

GROWTH

My store achieved growth over last year! We were one of the few stores in our chain to achieve this and I couldn't be more proud of my staff.

TMBG

I was first exposed to They Might Be Giants in college and have loved them ever since. In the Fall, I got to experience their awesomeness first hand with my good buddy Tom at a venue in Nashville. I can't wait to see them again in February as they are making a stop in Chattanooga!!

MONKLINESS

After 14 months in formation, I professed vows as a Third Order Benedictine with the Company of Jesus. Basically, I covenanted to be the hands and feet of Jesus within the structure of lay monastic life which means I pray, read Scripture and the Rule of St. Benedict, commit to a local ministry, and seek to live a life of balance in all areas.

Now the lows...

AUNT EVA

In late August, the world became a little darker as Rachael's beloved Aunt Eva transitioned from this world to the presence of The Father. She was the matriarch of the Gonzalez's, a sweet, strong lady who always had a kind word and wasn't afraid to let you know what she thought. Though her passing was completely unexpected and sad, we know that she is in a place where she doesn't have the worries and concerns she faced here. She is missed.

FLOATING WITH THE CHURCHES

In 2011, we floated around among the churches. We primarily hung out with friends who are planting churches in the city and it was good to see what God is doing in both communities. It was also nice to have the freedom to visit other churches and not feel like we were letting anyone down. However, at the same time not being "planted" anywhere doesn't provide our family with any consistency and I hate having to answer the question, "Where are we going to church this week?"

So there it is, our year in review. Stay tuned for some hopes and goals for 2012!

It's Christmas Time!

If my calculations are correct, this is my 16th Christmas season in retail. My first two seasons were spent in art supply stores and the last fourteen have been with my current company. So, not to brag or anything but I have supplied literally thousands of people with Christmas gifts over the years. You may have even received a gift that I suggested to one of your friends or relatives.

You're welcome.

Gifts are an important part of this season. As a Christian holiday, Christmas is an opportunity to respond to the belief that the Almighty has given the world the gift of Himself through the person of Jesus Christ, whose birth Christmas commemorates. It's a special time of year with many other traditions being added to the holiday over the past several centuries. Especially over the past 100 years or so, gift-giving has evolved (devolved?) into the most important aspect of the season. It seems every year the acts of Christmas shoppers become more and more ridiculous. This year alone there were incidents of people brandishing pepper spray in Wal-Mart, kids getting beaten up by adults, and other acts of violence. All of this in order to celebrate the birth of One who taught his followers to love others in the same way they wish to be loved. Craziness.

While growing up, Christmas was always about the gifts. The most asked question from October til Christmas Day was, "What do you WANT for Christmas?" My parents were not rich, and I know they sacrificed to provide us with gifts on Christmas morning. I am thankful for their sacrifice but I also wonder if we missed something on those special days. I wonder if we allowed our family to be overtaken by the notion that receiving gifts is the most important aspect of the Christmas holiday. Being from the Evangelical side of Christianity we did not attend church on Christmas Eve or Day, and if Christmas Day fell on a Sunday, church was usually cancelled. It made sense when I was a kid since Christmas was about the gifts and church would just interfere with time I desperately needed to fully enjoy those gifts.

Now that I'm a little older and a parent, I struggle with the whole gift-giving enterprise. I'm not, by nature, a good gift-giver, and receiving gifts always make me feel uncomfortable. There are probably some deep-seeded issues related to these feelings, but that's for another time. So, in an effort to avoid the gift-giving frenzy and pressure, my family and I have set up some rules for the gift giving part of the holiday season.

First, we only give our children three gifts each and a stocking. That's it. No hour long gift opening extravaganza on Christmas morn.

Second, we celebrate Advent. We attempt to have a family devotion every night during Advent and on Sunday's we light our Advent candles. On Christmas morning we also light the Christ candle and have our devotion before opening any gifts. This year we are attending a church service on Christmas Day as well.

Third, we have a budget for our large family. With both families combined there are 6 siblings and 5 sibling spouses, 4 grandparents, 3 great-grand parents, 16 nieces and nephews, 4 family gifts to buy for Christmas Eve, and my work staff. Working for a not-for-profit entity will not make one wealthy so there is no way we can buy for absolutely everyone. So, we make a budget and oftentimes do family gifts instead of individual gifts. Some years we also try to make gifts for family members, giving the most precious gifts of time and energy, rather than simply swiping a debit card at a department store.

Fourth, my wife and I don't exchange gifts. Neither one of us are good at giving gifts and it frees us from the pressure of finding the perfect gift in order to spend more time, energy and resources doing for others and our family.

It's not a perfect system but over the past few years it has helped our family focus on commemoration instead of consumption. You may celebrate differently and that's okay, we don't have it all figured out. These are just some simple suggestions if you're feeling overwhelmed or like you're missing something. Advent and Christmas are special times of the year, don't miss them.

Peace of Christ